I Quit

Sebastian is expecting an article at The San Francisco Chronicle today. I wrote him my rote process in the form of a haiku, instead. I folded it shut, and left it in his mailbox, where I would usually leave my weekly contribution.

My services may not be necessary at The Chronicle any longer after this.

-Donnie Rawlen

Write for the Chronicle


My final assignment for the week was to create a Haiku Recipe for 3 stars. I used it as offensive resignation from The San Francisco Chronicle, which is run by Janelle Pierangelino’s own Sebastian Crane.

My process was simple enough. I sat down with my pen, and wrote a quick haiku in my notebook, and thought of just taking a picture of that, but I really didn’t want to get up from my desk to get my phone or camera to snap a picture of it, so I opened GIMP and threw this together. I used a grid, with “snap to grid” enabled to make simple boxes which I filled in with the visible parchment color and black. Originally I had a plain, thick (60 pixel) black border, but decided my parchment color should be more readily used (Oh, Vignelli). So I decided to make a gradient from the outer edge to the center box to emulate a folded note.

Then I used text boxes to write the haiku–originally I’d tried using my stylus to actually write it out for a better effect, but there was a bit of delay between when the brush would recognize it was being used, so it ended up looking a bit off. I was going to use a handwriting script after that, but decided those fonts don’t really look like handwriting, considering how oddly consistent they are–it just doesn’t look right.

So, that’s that. A haiku resignation note, with an offensive recipe for how to write for a (Donnie’s thoughts incoming) trite, verbose publication.






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  • Kelsey Roach says:

    The detail behind your process was easy to follow. I would have chosen GIMP over getting up as well. Gotta love technology. I also really enjoyed this variation of the haiku recipe as a “I quit” note. Very creative.

    • Spencer says:

      Glad it was easy to follow. I tend to think my writing is rather convoluted in general, so that’s nice to hear. 🙂
      I tend to take the software first, movement later approach, hence my decision for a CS major.

  • I like how you explained the whole process so someone could follow the steps. Thanks for using my character in your story line. I like seeing what people can do with him. What was his reasoning for quitting?

    • Spencer says:

      No problem! I may incorporate him again at some point, maybe extending an offer for the occasional Opinion piece. 🙂
      His reason for quitting was he didn’t really care for the weekly article submission Crane demanded. Donnie’s a struggling writer, so I decided to make him a bit self-destructive; he needs some flaws, so I figured this would be a good start.
      Glad you liked it!

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