Sebastian is expecting an article at The San Francisco Chronicle today. I wrote him my rote process in the form of a haiku, instead. I folded it shut, and left it in his mailbox, where I would usually leave my weekly contribution.
My services may not be necessary at The Chronicle any longer after this.
My final assignment for the week was to create a Haiku Recipe for 3 stars. I used it as offensive resignation from The San Francisco Chronicle, which is run by Janelle Pierangelino’s own Sebastian Crane.
My process was simple enough. I sat down with my pen, and wrote a quick haiku in my notebook, and thought of just taking a picture of that, but I really didn’t want to get up from my desk to get my phone or camera to snap a picture of it, so I opened GIMP and threw this together. I used a grid, with “snap to grid” enabled to make simple boxes which I filled in with the visible parchment color and black. Originally I had a plain, thick (60 pixel) black border, but decided my parchment color should be more readily used (Oh, Vignelli). So I decided to make a gradient from the outer edge to the center box to emulate a folded note.
Then I used text boxes to write the haiku–originally I’d tried using my stylus to actually write it out for a better effect, but there was a bit of delay between when the brush would recognize it was being used, so it ended up looking a bit off. I was going to use a handwriting script after that, but decided those fonts don’t really look like handwriting, considering how oddly consistent they are–it just doesn’t look right.
So, that’s that. A haiku resignation note, with an offensive recipe for how to write for a (Donnie’s thoughts incoming) trite, verbose publication.